Some of God's greatest gifts (Are unanswered prayers)
by thegirl20
Summary: Ruby goes back to her hometown and confronts her feelings about her first crush. Written for Red Queen Week 2016 Day 1 Theme: Firsts


"And this is it," Ruby says, coming to a halt in front of a restaurant with a garish sign reading 'Auntie Em's Chicken 'n' Biscuits'. "This is where I spent most of my youth." She swallows hard against the lump in her throat. This is the first time she's been back to Storybrooke since she sold the diner and moved away. She didn't realise how hard it would hit her, seeing someone else's name in place of Granny's. The hand holding hers squeezes gently and she turns to meet sympathetic brown eyes.

"Are you okay?" Regina murmurs. "Because we can just get in the car and keep going, you know. We don't have to stay here."

It's their five year anniversary at the end of the week and they've taken a few days off work to celebrate. When they'd opted for a road trip, stopping off at significant locations, Ruby had decided that it was finally time she took Regina home. The fact that the trip coincided with Miners' Day meant that there'd be a little more to see and do in the sleepy town than usual. Food and craft stalls line Main Street and crowds are bustling around, wearing big coats and scarves and gloves against the first chill of the Maine winter.

Despite the familiarity of the setting - Ruby's pretty sure the stalls are in the same order they have been since she was a kid - there's not a lot that feels like home to her anymore. After Granny passed, it felt like there was nothing keeping her in Storybrooke and now that she's back, that same unease is settling over her. But she shakes her head and conjures up a smile. "I'm fine," she tells Regina, who doesn't look convinced in the slightest. "Really. Let's...let's just walk." She nods to the diner. "Too many memories here, that's all."

"Well, if you're sure," Regina says, letting go of Ruby's hand and sliding her own to the crook of Ruby's elbow as they resume their walk, heading back towards the row of vendors. They take their time exploring. Ruby enjoys watching Regina react to some of the more 'quaint' townsfolk trying to sell their wares, laughing softly to herself as she haggles with Leroy over the price of a knight sitting on a horse fashioned out of coal. Regina has more money than she knows what to do with, but she will not be taken for a fool. Looking around, Ruby spots something and taps Regina's arm.

"I'm just gonna go grab us a snack over there, okay?" she says, pointing down the street to a sign that reads 'Deep Fried Apple Pie Bites'.

Regina sighs. "I can feel my arteries protesting already."

Grinning, Ruby squeezes her elbow. "You'll love them, I promise," she says, dropping a quick kiss against Regina's cheek and forcing herself not to look to Leroy for a reaction. "Come get me when you're done here."

Ruby moves down the street, nodding to a few familiar faces as she goes, and takes her place in a fairly long line for the unhealthy treats. She gets her phone out while she waits to check for messages. There's a photo message from Mal and she pulls it up to find a picture of Henry and Lily grinning with faces covered in chocolate. She grins in return, her thumb gently stroking over her son's face. He's almost four now and full of mischief, especially when he's in the company of his Auntie Mal and cousin Lily, despite Aunt Ingrid's best efforts to keep them on the straight and narrow. Her throat tightens again at the thought of not seeing him for another five days. It's the first time she and Regina have spent more than a weekend away from him since they brought him home as a tiny baby. But they need this time together too, and Henry is clearly having a ball with Lily. She makes herself go cross-eyed and sticks out her tongue before snapping a selfie and sending it in return. She hopes it makes him smile.

The line moves on and she takes a few steps forward, eyes still on her phone, and bumps straight into someone moving in the opposite direction.

"Oh, I'm sor-" she begins, but is cut off.

"Ruby?"

Her heart stops in her chest; she'd know that voice anywhere. She looks up into shining green eyes and before she can even say a word, she's drawn into a tight embrace.

"Oh my God ! I can't believe you're home! I haven't seen you in...it's gotta be ten years, right?"

Ruby clears her throat. "Eleven," she says, quietly, returning the hug. Eleven years, two months and seventeen days, but who's counting? She's finally released from the bone-crushing hold and she pulls back enough to make out her assailant's features.

"You cut your hair." It shouldn't be the first thing that comes out of her mouth after not seeing her best friend for a decade, but it is. Mary Margaret's hand flies to the back of her neck, playing with the ends a little nervously.

"Yeah, a few years ago," she confirms before shaking her head. "Never mind that. What brings you home?"

"Oh, just...you know, passing through," Ruby says, her mind assaulted by a million memories she'd tried very hard to forget.

As a confused teenager, Mary Margaret Blanchard was the person she'd wanted to spend her whole life with. They'd been best friends since they were tiny. They did everything together, always getting into scrapes and adventures, standing up for one another and comforting each other through hard times. They were inseparable. But as they got older, Ruby started having feelings that she really didn't understand. As well as wanting to spend all of her time with Mary Margaret, she started wanting to be closer to her in ways that felt wrong. She wanted to kiss her the way that girls were supposed to want to kiss boys. And, in smalltown Maine, nobody was there to tell her those feelings were okay and that there was nothing wrong with her. So she'd hidden her feelings away, forcing herself to kiss boys and let them touch her so that she'd start feeling the right way. But it never worked and it just made her feel worse. So, when Granny's heart gave out not so long after Ruby's high school graduation, she sold the diner and moved to New York to make a fresh start.

"Ruby! No way!"

Glad of the reprieve, Ruby drags her eyes from Mary Margaret's and raises her eyebrows when she sees David, Mary Margaret's high school boyfriend, coming towards them with a little blonde girl in his arms.

"David! Hi!" She accepts his one armed hug before he steps back and drapes his arm around Mary Margaret, grinning widely at her. The expected rush of jealousy at the action doesn't come.

"Ruby, this is our daughter, Emma," Mary Margaret says, beaming at the little girl. "Say hi to Ruby, Emma."

"Hi," Emma says. She points at a stuffed duck she's clutching to her chest. "This is my swan that my daddy winned for me."

"Hi Emma," Ruby says, marvelling at how much of a blend of Mary Margaret and David she is. Mary Margaret's chin and David's forehead, definitely. "Your swan is lovely. How old are you?"

"I'm five," Emma says, holding up four fingers. Mary Margaret reaches over and gently unfurls her thumb so that she's holding up the correct number.

"Wow, that's so big," Ruby tells her, with a smile. "My son is nearly four, so you're way bigger than him."

"You have a son?" Mary Margaret practically squeals. And, if Ruby's not mistaken, she detects a hint of relief in her tone. Like, 'oh she's normal now, it's all fine'. While she'd never spoken of her feelings to anybody , she always thought Mary Margaret suspected something. If they were looking through magazines together, she'd point out women and ask if Ruby thought they were pretty. Or she'd drop little things into conversation that would make Ruby wonder if she knew. But Ruby was never brave enough to take that step. Not then.

"I do," she confirms. "His name is Henry."

"That's a lovely name," Mary Margaret says. "And what about your hu-...I mean, are you married?"

"I am," Ruby says, holding up her left hand to show her wedding band. "Five years at the end of this week, actually."

"That's great, Ruby," Mary Margaret gushes. "I'm so happy for you."

A hand brushes against her own and she turns to see Regina arriving by her side. Her heart speeds up in her chest. While she's been out of the closet for a long time, she's still stupidly affected by the thought of saying it out loud to these people from her past.

"Ruby, aren't you going to introduce us?" Regina suggests, with a raised eyebrow.

Ruby nods rapidly. "Sure, of course. Regina, this is Mary Margaret, David and Emma," Ruby says, pointing at each in turn.

"This is a swan!" Emma announces, holding out her duck.

"Well, hello Miss Swan," Regina says, shaking the duck's wing formally and making Emma giggle. "And hello to the rest of you." The tight knot in Ruby's stomach loosens a little and she places a hand at the small of Regina's back.

"And this is Regina," Ruby says, her eyes meeting Mary Margaret's. "My wife."

Mary Margaret's mouth forms a perfect 'O', but no noise comes out. Just before the silence has a chance to grow awkward, Emma's little voice pipes up.

"A lady can have a wife?" The little blonde is looking between her parents for confirmation and there's another almost awkward pause before David and Mary Margaret fall over themselves to try to be the most 'okay' with it. Ruby doesn't need to look at Regina to know she's probably not trying very hard to hide a smirk.

After her parents have finished reassuring Emma that a woman can indeed have a wife, the little girl gives a firm nod. "Good. Because I'm probably gonna marry Elsa. Killy said we can't because we're girls, and that I gotta marry him instead. But I don't wanna."

At this, Regina laughs and Ruby elbows her in the ribs. "Good for you," Regina says. "I think you should marry whoever you want to marry, Emma."

"Yes, well...I think it'll be a long time before you marry anybody, sweetheart," Mary Margaret says, with a glance at Regina that Ruby doesn't particularly like. Her hand curls protectively around her wife's hip and she pulls her closer.

"Daddy, can we go throw more balls at the coconuts?" Emma asks, bouncing in David's arms.

"Yes," David says, clearly desperate to get away from the awkward situation he's suddenly found himself in. "It was good to see you, Ruby. Nice to meet you, Regina." He nods at both of them and then smiles at his daughter. "Let's go see if we can win another duck, huh?"

"Swan," Emma corrects, before giving Ruby and Regina a bright smile and a wave. "Bye lady wifes!"

"Bye Emma!" they chorus, waving in return.

"So, are you in town for long?" Mary Margaret asks, turning hopeful eyes on Ruby. "Maybe we can grab dinner or coffee or something? Talk about the old days?" It's not clear whether or not the invitation includes Regina, but it doesn't really feel like it.

"No, we, uh," Ruby hesitates. The plan had been to spend a night in Storybrooke before heading off, but she feels like she's seen enough. "Like I said, we're just passing through. We have reservations in Augusta." They absolutely do not have reservations anywhere, but Ruby needs to be anywhere but here, and she knows Regina understands that when she leans just that little bit closer.

"That's a pity," Mary Margaret says, reaching out to squeeze Ruby's forearm. "Maybe next time, huh?"

"Definitely," Ruby confirms, tightening her grip on Regina's hip. "Next time."

"It was good to see you, Ruby," Mary Margaret says, her eyes glazing over with tears. "We all missed you when you moved away."

"I missed you too," Ruby says, genuinely. It's true. She pined for a long time over what might have been. "But I needed to do it."

"I know," Mary Margaret says, her eyes flicking to Regina. "I see that now."

Ruby nods and moves forward at the same moment Mary Margaret does and they meet in a tight hug.

"Don't leave it so long this time, okay?" Mary Margaret whispers. "You're welcome here any time. Both of you."

Ruby nods and squeezes Mary Margaret tighter before letting her go. She smiles. "Thanks, M and M."

Mary Margaret grins at the use of her old nickname. She switches her attention to Regina. "It was nice to meet you, Regina."

"You too, Mary Margaret," Regina says, with a smile Ruby's seen at many a formal gathering. Ruby watches them shake hands, and with a final nod Mary Margaret heads off in the direction her husband and daughter took.

"Old flame?" Regina asks, casually, as they walk away.

Sighing, Ruby turns to look over her shoulder, to find Mary Margaret doing the same. She offers Ruby a smile that's a little sad, and Ruby returns it.

"Not a flame," she admits. "Maybe a flicker that I kinda hoped might turn into a flame." She laughs at herself. "You know, back then, I really thought I was in love with her."

"Perhaps you were," Regina says, with just a touch of strain in her voice that warms Ruby's heart. "First love is a strange thing. How can you know what it is if you've never had it before?"

"Looking back, I'm pretty sure it was friendship mixed up with a crush and just a little bit of infatuation," Ruby decides. "I couldn't have been in love with her."

"It's okay if you were, Ruby," Regina tells her gently. "I don't have to be your first love. As long as I'm your last."

Ruby laughs, pulling Regina closer as they walk and kissing her forehead, heedless of any stares they may be attracting. "Now that I'm sure of," she tells her wife, smiling at the pleased hum she receives in response. "But back then, I was just a frightened girl, so damn confused about the feelings I was having about the Prom Queen."

"Oh, sweetheart, from what I saw of her, she's a princess at best. She could never be a Queen."

"Be nice," Ruby tells Regina, pushing her away, but catching her hand and holding it as they carry on.

"Did she know how you felt?" Regina asks.

"No." Ruby tilts her head in consideration. "Well, maybe. But not because I told her. Or anybody . Remember, honey, not everyone attended an all girls high school that was apparently a hotbed of lesbian activity. Some of us went to Storybrooke High where the queer population could be counted on one hand and the 'out' queer population could be counted on a hand with no fingers."

"Don't be ridiculous," Regina says, pushing at Ruby with their joint hands. "It wasn't a hotbed of lesbian activity ."

"That's not what Kathryn says." Kathryn is Regina's best friend and Ruby adores her. She has the driest sense of humour and knows all of Regina's secrets and she loves to share them with Ruby at the most inopportune moments.

"You're well aware that Kathryn exaggerates," Regina tells her. "Kathryn introduced herself to you as my 'token straight friend'."

"To be fair, most of your friends from school are gay," Ruby says, as they near the end of the row of stalls, the festivities petering out.

"Nonsense," Regina protests, drawing Ruby to a halt before they leave the soft glow of the fairy lights that are draped everywhere. "Kathryn isn't. Marian isn't."

"I said most, not all," Ruby says, looking down at her wife with a smile as she goes on to list a number of other non-queer friends and acquaintances. Regina's cheeks are flushed from the chill in the air, her dark eyes sparkling in the twinkling lights. Ruby's sure she should be listening to what she's saying, but she's so transfixed by her beauty, and how lucky she is to have her, that she doesn't hear a single word.

Being here, in the street she grew up on, their life in New York feels like it's on another planet. In New York, they just exist. They think nothing of holding hands or kissing on the street corner. They take Henry to playdates with Lily at Mal and Ingrid's place. They go for walks with Cru and Ursula and their twin dalmatians; Flotsam and Jetsam. Sometimes they have picnics in the park with the whole gang, where Jim and Ruby and Robin will play touch football with the kids in a semi-complicated three-team formation. Ruby usually ends up with Roland on her shoulders, dodging attacks from Henry and Lily as she sprints up the field and lets Roland score their touchdown.

While her teenage years were a horrific and confusing time, they gave her the strength to move away when she needed to. If she'd been brave enough back then to confess to Mary Margaret, her life might have taken a different route, and she'd never have had Regina or Henry or any of their extended crazy family in New York.

"Ruby, are you even listening to me?"

"Oh, sorry," she says, bringing a hand up to stroke Regina's cheek. "I was just...thinking that things work out for the best, sometimes. Right?"

Regina's eyes flit over her face and Ruby knows she's waiting for more to be forthcoming, but that really is the crux of the matter. Everything happened the way it needed to for Ruby to meet Regina and find out that love could be a two way street and that her feelings weren't wrong or bad.

"Right," Regina agrees, with a smile. "So, coming home didn't make you nostalgic for small town life, huh?"

"I'm not home," Ruby says, immediately. "We're gonna leave here, and spend a few more days driving around and getting time to ourselves. And when we go pick up Henry from Mal's and go back to our apartment, then I'll be home."

"You are such a sap, you know that?" Regina says, shaking her head.

"You bring it out in me," Ruby says, her smile growing wider. "You're just so wonderful that my sap levels shoot up whenever I'm near you."

"Shut up," Regina mumbles, pulling Ruby closer by the front of her jacket. "And kiss me."

"Yes, ma'am."

And, in the middle of Main Street, Ruby leans in and kisses her wife and doesn't care who sees it.


End file.
